we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
