i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
