Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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