i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
