she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
