his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
