ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
