I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
