How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
