she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
