It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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