either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
