i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
