She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
