..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
