Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
