I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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