btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh god it's open bar.
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