what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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