she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
