Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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