Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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