Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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