when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
