Pregnant stripper...not hot.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
