i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
