you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
