Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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