I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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