Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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