He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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