But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
