so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
