so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
