It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
