I cockslap morals
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
