Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We got so high we made milksteak
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
