Me. At least after what I've been through.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
