I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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