Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My pussy is not your playground.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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