he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
