The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
