I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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