North Korea, Best Korea!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
