the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
