We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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