Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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