just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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