Yo dont text me then not text me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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