So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
